CLOSE, LIKE HARPER: STAYING NEAR GOD

Sleep doesn’t come easily for me. With all the tossing and turning, I often wonder if I get more exercise during the night or the day. I’m like a chicken on a rotisserie!

My mind simply doesn’t shut down. I envy my husband who can decide it’s time for bed and be asleep within five breaths. I know: I’ve counted!

That’s not me. Everything must be in perfect order before I can even begin to feel drowsy. The sheets and blankets have to be straight, each layer pulled up exactly the same. I’m also the classic ”Princess and the Pea” in my lack of tolerance for a grain of salt, sand, or crumb in the bed. Those pointy granules hurt! The temperature in the bedroom must be very cool, with the fan running, as well.

And that’s only the physical environment. Don’t get me started on the mental requirements.

I despise being so high maintenance when bedtime rolls around. But I am. Until I became my daddy’s caregiver, I had no idea he was just like me in bedding issues. I guess I come by that part naturally, at least.

When three of our grandchildren arrived for an overnight visit this past week, I knew sleep might be even more elusive than usual. But did that matter? Absolutely not! I was delighted to have them!

Bedtime proved rather chaotic with tears for mommy and daddy and the excitement of a new place intermingling. But we finally got all three to sleep. Then started my unwind. It took a while, but eventually I began to drift off.

Cue the sound of little feet, running down the hallway, down the stairs, and back up again.

Sweet four old Harper was wide awake, looking for me. I gently called her name, and she immediately ran into our bedroom. She explained she wanted her mommy. When I asked if she wanted to snuggle with Mimi, she threw her hands up right away for me to hike her up beside me.

And, boy, did that little girl snuggle in right next to me! She pressed up as close as possible, threw one tiny leg over mine and one tiny arm tightly around my waist. And she was out!

Harper couldn’t have clung more tightly to me throughout the night. There wasn’t even room for air between us! Once in a while, when she roused slightly and realized I’d adjusted my position a bit or that her hand had dropped away, she immediately pressed her weight back into me. I even got an arm flung across my face.

I didn’t mind. I was loving it, soaking up the joy of being able to comfort my little princess.

And, with my mind fully awake by then, I began analyzing the situation.

I realized I want to be just like Harper! Not in her ability to easily drift to sleep (though I wouldn’t mind that in the slightest).

No, I want to learn to draw peace and comfort in my relationship with Jesus. I want to be as close to Him as Harper was to me! The very urgent clinging she was doing to me perfectly mirrored the fervency with which I desire to cling to the Lord.

This world can certainly appear scary, especially in recent days. My spirit is not at rest in this world. It’s not my Home. No matter how much my soul tosses and turns, trying to find a comfortable position here, it’s not going to work. I need supernatural comfort. Someone to cling to for reassurance.

Psalm 61:2 says, “When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” That rock is God. Notice the psalmist didn’t say, ”point out the rock.” He said, ”Lead me right up to it. Get me as close as possible.”

I cannot lean against a rock for support if I’m not near it. A distant rock cannot provide shade or comforting coolness. Those provisions come only as I approach it. So I ask myself, am I as close as I can possibly be to God?

Are there any areas where I am leaving room for “air” in our relationship? Am I staying in close fellowship with Him? Keeping my sin confessed? Walking obediently? Sharing my struggles with Him, asking for His grace?

God will never move away from me. James 4:8 makes it clear that I’m the one who determines the intimacy of my relationship to Him. “Draw nigh to God [my move first] and He will draw nigh to you [His move in response].” God desires an intimate relationship with me. Am I doing everything I can to remain close to Him? And when I realize I’ve allowed some space to come between us, do I immediately and purposefully press into Him once again?

Just like the joy my granddaughter brought to my heart in wanting to be near me, my desire to have a close relationship with God delights His heart. What an amazing realization to understand the God of the universe desires my nearness! And with that closeness comes the rest my soul so desperately craves!

Oh, Lord, please help me cling to You. I want to stay close, like Harper!

“Thou shalt fear the LORD thy God; Him shalt thou serve, and to Him shalt thou cleave.” Deuteronomy 10:20